Saturday, January 26, 2013

And then there were 1+1+1= 2 {3}

I feel amazingly blessed lately. My husband and I talk all the time about how you never really know the full meaning of love until you have a child. And we had that when we had our first. But now we can express it as parents. And we have a little boy who is full of such joy, such innocence, such pure wonderful goodness, that my heart has not stopped overflowing since he was born.

I write this post and I look over at him on our Angelcare monitor (I will probably use that until he's 4, I know nobody here judges me) and I look at his beautiful little head full of soft golden hair. He is laying on his side, his chubby little hands clasped in front of him. And I just swell with love for this incredible gift, this little cherub child who dropped out of heaven and is with me every day.

How can we be SO lucky?

video


And we have a little brother on the way. So (WOW) so unexpected and unplanned, and yet so wanted. We know the greatest loss. We have nothing but sheer joy at the thought of another baby. I have seen two ultrasounds, and this little boy took me and his daddy quite by surprise, but I am thankful for yet another opportunity to parent a child. We are just about 14 weeks. So many things can still go wrong, and there is so far still to go. Still plenty of time for me to spiral into panic meltdowns, multiple times a day.

And I can't help but think that I am now carrying my third baby, and only entertaining the possibility of the second child to bring home. And I linger on the unfairness of it all, and allow myself to feel a little bit of the rage that still sits inside of me, and I feel a momentary chill that my first child is housed in a cemetery. And that is our lives.

I'll take the joy, though, and run with it as much as I can. It's all we can do.

Please pray for your family. This little one is so loved already. God oh God please let him come home with us.

10 comments:

  1. OMG! Congrats Katie! So very happy for you guys! Will definitely be praying for your family. Wishing you all the best through this pregnancy.

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  2. Omg! Crazy!! But amazing! Keep us posted!!!

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  3. Oh my goodness, Katie! Congratulations!! Our family will certainly be praying for you all. So excited for you and hoping for an easy and healthy pregnancy with a happy bouncing baby boy!!

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  4. Congratulations! :) And another boy- beautiful! Hoping for an uneventful pregnancy!!!

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  5. Oh, that's wonderful! And that video of Davey... oh my. What a cutie pie for sure. Love the high chair. We have similar taste. ;)

    Very exciting news. Cheering you on and supporting again. Much love to you guys!

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  6. Congrats Katie. May the remaining weeks be happy and hopeful. Missing Georgie, excited for her family, right along with you.

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  7. Oh my gosh! What an unexpected delight this baby will be. There is something very sweet about all the kinds of love you have now experienced for your babies--your first innocent pregnancy with Georgie, your second longed-for but fearful pregnancy with Davey, and now this surprising and exciting one with baby brother! Wishing you the very best.

    So sorry those numbers will never add up right.

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  8. What a blessing...congratulations!!!

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  9. Congratulations! That's wonderful! Hang in there through the stress & worry.
    Lots of good wishes!

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  10. Oh and there it is! What a perfectly beautiful surprise. I hope you are feeling well and the path ahead is less stressful than the last rainbow pregnancy. I am sending so many good vibes to you. A little brother. How lovely

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