Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Two years

Two years ago today, we lost our sweet Georgie.

Last year, I felt overwhelming fear and panic. I was so convinced something else terrible was going to happen to us, to Davey who was 7 months in the womb.

This year, I feel heavy, sluggish in my grief. I feel the weight of it, but not so much the gripping fear. I've felt so tired from feeling so sad about it all. I think a baby in the grave, baby in my arms and baby in my belly is just too much this year, and my heart has just gone into numb mode. I feel the grief, though, because all I've wanted to do is sleep or sit in the shower and cry. Fortunately, having an almost 10 month old means neither is much of an option right now.

So for today, help me remember our sweet G and light a candle for her second birthday with us tomorrow.