tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7153376773551993140.post5137596273513867710..comments2023-08-21T03:49:12.158-06:00Comments on Life After Georgiana: Parallel Planskatie illingworthhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03586049654494206137noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7153376773551993140.post-81583912542869180822012-03-01T14:37:18.131-07:002012-03-01T14:37:18.131-07:00I understand your heart feeling disappointed in ho...I understand your heart feeling disappointed in how people are handling Georgie's birthday. It's such a place none of us ever expected to be and one that is quite uncomfortable for everyone else. How do you celebrate a life gone far too soon? There's no right way, but others must be sensitive to her life and how much value she has for you as a family.<br /><br />Like Caroline said, March is her month. Treat it as such and others will see this. They may disappoint you in their actions/words, but remain true to her and others will have no choice but to comply. I found that telling people HOW I wanted them to celebrate was important and easiest. No one was uncomfortable or wondering what to do/say or how to overstep or understep those bounds.<br /><br />Celebrate your daughter. She deserves all the love and adoration. :) We BLMs shall be celebrating with you.B. Wilson @ Windy {City} Wilsonshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17479551028143520755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7153376773551993140.post-77312953460240010102012-03-01T12:36:54.045-07:002012-03-01T12:36:54.045-07:00It's such a tough time and so hard to sort thr...It's such a tough time and so hard to sort through the feelings. I think it's good that you want to focus on his arrival and plan for him to be here. He does deserve that, but it doesn't mean that it won't be so hard for you - to want to get excited for him, but be grieving for sweet Georgie in the process. March is her month. It's ok to put her first this month as you celebrate, honor, and remember your little girl. I'm so sorry you are feeling disappointment from others - it makes it that much harder.<br /><br />I wish you lots of peace as you navigate your way through these crazy times. I hope that you continue to love on that little boy as you will continue to love Georgiana.Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00101380791416834049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7153376773551993140.post-47492494965075487132012-02-27T15:00:48.821-07:002012-02-27T15:00:48.821-07:00I think it's been very helpful for me to honor...I think it's been very helpful for me to honor milestones & my losses were much, much earlier on than Georgiana's passing. I'd imagine it's even more important to do with stillbirth. <br /><br />I make a cake for James on his delivery date & we plant wildflowers during a family hike on his due date. We don't sing, but it's healing to put time & thought into decorating a cake. It's a pretty private event, but we do celebrate our angels being part of our family.<br /><br />I'm not sure what Hope's delivery date ritual will be- it's also coming up in March. Tentatively, I plan to decorate for the new baby. I've had a hard time preparing too, but I think it's important that I do. <br /><br />When we celebrated the 1st anniversary of delivering James, it was very bitter-sweet. On the one hand I felt relieved at having made it through a year of grieving. But I didn't like that he felt a whole year away. I had written a poem about "I held my baby yesterday..." He felt close when it was just yesterday that I had him. I didn't like him feeling distant in time.<br /><br />My favorite quote about grieving is:<br />"We don't move on and forget-<br />We move forward and remember." -Viki PondLempskieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01713147936630756799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7153376773551993140.post-78169021166998444132012-02-26T22:14:01.613-07:002012-02-26T22:14:01.613-07:00First of all, I want you to know that you're d...First of all, I want you to know that you're doing a great job handling everything. The sheer fact that you're still standing is a great testimony to your strength (and that you're relying on God's help too). <br /><br />I know what you mean about feeling really torn on Georgie's birthday. I stressed and stressed over what to do for Caroline's day. I settled on a family get-together/balloon release. I know that it freaked out some of my family (in fact, my dad didn't even come). But, those that wanted to come, did, and it was a good day with lots of love and some tears. We didn't do a birthday cake or anything like that, on my husband's request...it was just too hard for him. I am pleased with how it went, but there is really no way that I can think of to have a "perfect birthday party" for a situation such as this.<br /><br />It's now been 16 months since we lost Caroline, and I still have days that I can't stand the heaviness of her not being here. I feel like I'm going to crumble under the weight. But, I'm proud to say that there are many more days that I'm able to live a happy life, remember her, miss her, but not be completely broken. I pray that you'll find that after Georgiana's birthday, you can breathe a little easier. These milestones are tough.<br /><br />Hang in there, friend!Nicolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03766020996629533476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7153376773551993140.post-20862371351021494042012-02-26T14:35:41.344-07:002012-02-26T14:35:41.344-07:00I think it's inevitable that people will disap...I think it's inevitable that people will disappoint us in regard to commemorating the birthdays of the babies we have lost. I'm still holding on to a lot of anger toward my in-laws for the abysmal way they handled Eliza's birthday (by ignoring it, and then accusing me of being "hateful," when I called them out on it). I'm trying very hard to focus on the positive support I have from my own family and our good friends (and of course other blms) and adjust my expectations of (and energy that I put toward) my in-laws. But that doesn't keep it from sucking hardcore.<br /><br />You're dealing with a lot of stuff all at once, and what you said about being pulled in two directions makes a lot of sense. I still can't fathom that my daughter died and I'm here and I go to Target and I love gooey butter cake and I laugh at 30 Rock. These things can't all be real. But somehow they are. Wishing you peace as you make it through the coming days. As Molly said, it will pass and you will be able to breathe again.Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05946311309467296976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7153376773551993140.post-20865173961191862072012-02-25T22:38:54.174-07:002012-02-25T22:38:54.174-07:00I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. ...I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. The months leading up to Hayes' birthday were so very hard, and I didn't have pregnancy fears and hormones compounding things. For her day, do what you feel comfortable and want to do, and try not to worry about those who don't want to participate or making anyone else uncomfortable. This needs to be healing for you, and you need to be happy with how you handled it once it has passed. And I promise, it will pass, and you will be able to breathe again after it is over. Hang in there.Mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09327445812846183545noreply@blogger.com